I have been in the UK for about 8 months now and I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here. I love Brighton and I love the fact that the world unknown to me is so close and I can just jump on a train/bus/plane and be there in no time, Iv had loved ones visit me and so I haven't been really home sick, I try to call my family at least twice in a week (my parents have serious withdrawal symptoms even though I haven't lived with them for a while) but its never enough. I miss being able to talk to my mother for an hour and not caring how much it costs me, I miss chatting with my nieces and knowing I could visit them next month if I wanted or if they begged me to. The other day I called home after longer than we can both can deal with and of-course my youngest niece who's 4(Her mother passed away a year and a half ago and she now lives with my mother.) had something to say about this; 'Ntse o le kae? Diplane di fitile di le dintsi mme ga o goroge. Kana ke lapisa mama waitse!? ke kopa o tle go ntsaya' basically, calling me to order, I have been gone for too long and she wants me to come get her. She's such a smarty pants! I deserved that whip back to reality after my spring break trips! :)
Anyway, the point of my post today is to talk about how important parental guidance is, no matter your age. Since I cant sit having tea with my dad and sip on some wisdom, Iv been searching for it in various places and one person that I can always count to get some of that needed guidance from is a certain 'ordinary man' Ndaba Gaolatlhe. What ever this man writes on his facebook page has a way of speaking to me and I think I really need to share his latest posts: A chat with over 25s and a chat with under 26s. I share both first because I'm a little confused about where I stand on this age issue (my bday is fast approaching!) and 2nd because I have friends who fall on both sides. Hope you find this both enlightening and entertaining. The Chats are quite similar, so only read the one relevant to you.
Till I wite and You read,
B
Till I wite and You read,
B
A chat with the over 25s
When you send a youngster or anyone to make a purchase, don’t ask about the change, ask for the receipt. In this way you don’t have to ask for change, it will come on its own
Do not ask for money, or borrow money, ever, unless you are asked if you are desperate, and even so, hesitate to
Always have a plan of what you would do with money, if you had any, if the money w...as P100 or P100 or P1 000 or P 10 000 or P100 000 or P1 000 000 or P10 000 000 or P100 000 000 or P1 000 000 000 so you don’t panick when a miracle comes your way, and the plans should be solid
You must always have a big idea, but don’t flaunt it, keep it in a safe-box in your heart, keep visiting it, water it, decorate rate, shape it, over the years
Do not try to archive your big idea over a few weeks, or months – if it is the real deal, it is worth a lifetime of work
Do not borrow money to start a business, if you can help it, start small, incrementally, with something else, which may not be the real big idea you have and don’t tell me you are from a poor family because all the best businesses were started by people who had nothing from their families, and did not borrow money (you can borrow later, to expand the business)
Surround yourself with others who are knowledgeable, and you don’t have to like them or be drinking buddies with them (and I do hope you don’t drink. Drinking izimnyama is not a good idea..okay I am deviating from the point)
If among your friends you don’t have a lawyer, an accountant, an artist, a person who likes talking to people, a planner, a skeptic, a technowhiz, an engineer, a spanner-boy do or die fellow, and an economist, (all of these) then for sure you don’t have enough friends. This means you are not serious about making friends If you never invite these friends for tea, or moraka, or a “gong” (I hope not) to chat about the future, then you are not a friendly man or woman – so you will not be able to “make things happen”
If you have never stopped someone you don’t know, or called or visited him/her to ask them what it takes to achieve the big ideas they have achieved, and be humiliated and embarrassed by it (because it is like that), then you are not serious about making things happen If you have not spent more than two weeks per year “all-nighters” (this is excludes working on the ideas during normal hours) sketching your plans, and re-doing them, then you are falling far behind doing your part in this lifetime
If your friends don’t make fun of you for being a “strange fellow”, then you are not hard at work If you have not been accused or blamed for something for which you are innocent, then you are not doing enough with your life If you do not reach out the younger ones, and give them even what they don’t want at that time, and even breathe down their neck, then you are not doing enough
Pray.
Do not spend less on or love less, someone during their lifetime than you intend to after their lifetime
Do not crave for someone’s belongings or wish to be them, for you have within you the power to be what no one else can be, and be admired by someone more than that person or persons will admire anyone else
Speak the truth, at all times, at all costs, by all means and at every place necessary
Be terrified of the trappings of power or of financial fortune, but be not afraid of the burden of responsibility that come with these, or the duty or the obligation to be an exemplar
Embrace who you are, and be thankful for it, and give thanks to everyone who put a building block to who you are
Do not assume the ones you meet, or see, or live with have reached their final station, no matter how lowly their occupation may appear to be, for they may grow to be the pope, or president or king or a magnate or nobel laurette or historical figure – so treat everyone as if they would be king or queen
Do not assume tomorrow will come or live as if you will live forever – so give hard, love hard, cherish hard, forgive hard and appreciate hard
If you are privilege or you possess prestige, do not abuse it at the expense of others or your enemies, but use it with restraint and for the benefit of the less privileged
Don’t join politics unless you are certain it is for the purpose of making a difference
Join politics so that others will not have to, and so the children of others will become scientists, artists, inventors, and entrepreneurs without them having to feel guilty that they are flourishing while their people perish
Never give up on a conviction that is true to you and that will inspire others to make a difference, never, ever renege on a noble promise
Keep learning, always, with your mind, and hands, and invent things with both that others will find use for
Learn Herero, Sesarwa, Hambukushu, Kalanga, Tswana, Xhosa, Zulu, Swahili, Sesubiya and all the languages of the African people – and in the same way learn other languages too
Enjoy the company of your people, laugh with them, dine with them, commune with them, dance with them, sing with them, play with them – your family, your friends, your comrades and your so called enemies
Do not respond to provocation - if you do, then be slow to respond, and even so, respond only if your response will build someone including the person to whom you are responding
Do not participate in that which is destructive to someone or others, even when this person or person do not know they are been destroyed or are on course for destruction
Do not respond to those who view your as an enemy, let them respond to you and your work
Stand by your convictions, especially when they will build others in the end– stand firm, stand like a rock, stand tall, be unmovable, be unshakable, do not bow, and be unbending for conviction, principle and the truth
Offer a way out for those who do not like you, or have a grudge against you, or are jealous or hate you – harbor no ill-will towards them. Shake their hands, offer them opportunity to bring out the best in themselves.
Choose your battles carefully, sparingly and with restraint – and do not take even those that you think you will win, if it will harm the big picture. Choose a few, and far in between battles, and only those which you will win overwhelmingly – and only do so to show the big picture is possible, not to flaunt your strength or might.
Be consistent, steady, tenacious, courageous and persevearing - don’t blow like a wind.
Do not allow the hard times, disappointments, grief, tragedy, criticism take away the best talents and attributes God gave you. Do not go down - See it through, all of it, stand tall and wither all the storms without sulking, complaining or blaming others.
Work smart, no matter the pressure on you, do it all quickly, patiently, efficiently and effectively
Take some long walks, drink some water, and take on a vegetable and/or a fruit everyday
Sing a few tunes in the shower, and dance a little before you jump on your bed. If you don’t have a shower, you can still whistle a melody
Tease your friends and tease those who think of you as an enemy. Tease them all the time.
Skip some conversations, in fact many of them, don’t entertain them, don’t comment
Keep a distance from social trouble. Be a fool in this matter. Be like a child who knows nothing except a wink (wink, wink).
Hold dearly to your value system and the people who are dear to you, through all seasons, and to the end
When you send a youngster or anyone to make a purchase, don’t ask about the change, ask for the receipt. In this way you don’t have to ask for change, it will come on its own
Do not ask for money, or borrow money, ever, unless you are asked if you are desperate, and even so, hesitate to
Always have a plan of what you would do with money, if you had any, if the money w...as P100 or P100 or P1 000 or P 10 000 or P100 000 or P1 000 000 or P10 000 000 or P100 000 000 or P1 000 000 000 so you don’t panick when a miracle comes your way, and the plans should be solid
You must always have a big idea, but don’t flaunt it, keep it in a safe-box in your heart, keep visiting it, water it, decorate rate, shape it, over the years
Do not try to archive your big idea over a few weeks, or months – if it is the real deal, it is worth a lifetime of work
Do not borrow money to start a business, if you can help it, start small, incrementally, with something else, which may not be the real big idea you have and don’t tell me you are from a poor family because all the best businesses were started by people who had nothing from their families, and did not borrow money (you can borrow later, to expand the business)
Surround yourself with others who are knowledgeable, and you don’t have to like them or be drinking buddies with them (and I do hope you don’t drink. Drinking izimnyama is not a good idea..okay I am deviating from the point)
If among your friends you don’t have a lawyer, an accountant, an artist, a person who likes talking to people, a planner, a skeptic, a technowhiz, an engineer, a spanner-boy do or die fellow, and an economist, (all of these) then for sure you don’t have enough friends. This means you are not serious about making friends If you never invite these friends for tea, or moraka, or a “gong” (I hope not) to chat about the future, then you are not a friendly man or woman – so you will not be able to “make things happen”
If you have never stopped someone you don’t know, or called or visited him/her to ask them what it takes to achieve the big ideas they have achieved, and be humiliated and embarrassed by it (because it is like that), then you are not serious about making things happen If you have not spent more than two weeks per year “all-nighters” (this is excludes working on the ideas during normal hours) sketching your plans, and re-doing them, then you are falling far behind doing your part in this lifetime
If your friends don’t make fun of you for being a “strange fellow”, then you are not hard at work If you have not been accused or blamed for something for which you are innocent, then you are not doing enough with your life If you do not reach out the younger ones, and give them even what they don’t want at that time, and even breathe down their neck, then you are not doing enough
Pray.
Do not spend less on or love less, someone during their lifetime than you intend to after their lifetime
Do not crave for someone’s belongings or wish to be them, for you have within you the power to be what no one else can be, and be admired by someone more than that person or persons will admire anyone else
Speak the truth, at all times, at all costs, by all means and at every place necessary
Be terrified of the trappings of power or of financial fortune, but be not afraid of the burden of responsibility that come with these, or the duty or the obligation to be an exemplar
Embrace who you are, and be thankful for it, and give thanks to everyone who put a building block to who you are
Do not assume the ones you meet, or see, or live with have reached their final station, no matter how lowly their occupation may appear to be, for they may grow to be the pope, or president or king or a magnate or nobel laurette or historical figure – so treat everyone as if they would be king or queen
Do not assume tomorrow will come or live as if you will live forever – so give hard, love hard, cherish hard, forgive hard and appreciate hard
If you are privilege or you possess prestige, do not abuse it at the expense of others or your enemies, but use it with restraint and for the benefit of the less privileged
Don’t join politics unless you are certain it is for the purpose of making a difference
Join politics so that others will not have to, and so the children of others will become scientists, artists, inventors, and entrepreneurs without them having to feel guilty that they are flourishing while their people perish
Never give up on a conviction that is true to you and that will inspire others to make a difference, never, ever renege on a noble promise
Keep learning, always, with your mind, and hands, and invent things with both that others will find use for
Learn Herero, Sesarwa, Hambukushu, Kalanga, Tswana, Xhosa, Zulu, Swahili, Sesubiya and all the languages of the African people – and in the same way learn other languages too
Enjoy the company of your people, laugh with them, dine with them, commune with them, dance with them, sing with them, play with them – your family, your friends, your comrades and your so called enemies
Do not respond to provocation - if you do, then be slow to respond, and even so, respond only if your response will build someone including the person to whom you are responding
Do not participate in that which is destructive to someone or others, even when this person or person do not know they are been destroyed or are on course for destruction
Do not respond to those who view your as an enemy, let them respond to you and your work
Stand by your convictions, especially when they will build others in the end– stand firm, stand like a rock, stand tall, be unmovable, be unshakable, do not bow, and be unbending for conviction, principle and the truth
Offer a way out for those who do not like you, or have a grudge against you, or are jealous or hate you – harbor no ill-will towards them. Shake their hands, offer them opportunity to bring out the best in themselves.
Choose your battles carefully, sparingly and with restraint – and do not take even those that you think you will win, if it will harm the big picture. Choose a few, and far in between battles, and only those which you will win overwhelmingly – and only do so to show the big picture is possible, not to flaunt your strength or might.
Be consistent, steady, tenacious, courageous and persevearing - don’t blow like a wind.
Do not allow the hard times, disappointments, grief, tragedy, criticism take away the best talents and attributes God gave you. Do not go down - See it through, all of it, stand tall and wither all the storms without sulking, complaining or blaming others.
Work smart, no matter the pressure on you, do it all quickly, patiently, efficiently and effectively
Take some long walks, drink some water, and take on a vegetable and/or a fruit everyday
Sing a few tunes in the shower, and dance a little before you jump on your bed. If you don’t have a shower, you can still whistle a melody
Tease your friends and tease those who think of you as an enemy. Tease them all the time.
Skip some conversations, in fact many of them, don’t entertain them, don’t comment
Keep a distance from social trouble. Be a fool in this matter. Be like a child who knows nothing except a wink (wink, wink).
Hold dearly to your value system and the people who are dear to you, through all seasons, and to the end
my chat with the under 26s (the older ones this is not yours)
Always bring back change when you sent by bagolo, with a receipt from the shops
Do not ask for money, ever, unless you are asked if you are desperate, and even so, hesitate to ask
Always have a plan of what you would do with money, if you had any, if the money was P100 or P100 or P1 000 or P 10 000 or P100 000 or P1 000 000 or P10 00...0 000 or P100 000 000 or P1 000 000 000 so you don’t panick when a miracle comes your way, and the plans should be solid
You must always have a big idea, but don’t flaunt it, keep it in a safe-box in your heart, keep visiting it, water it, decorate rate, shape it, over the years
Do not try to archive your big idea over a few weeks, or months – if it is the real deal, it is worth a lifetime of work
Do not borrow money to start a business, if you can help it, start small, incrementally, with something else, which may not be the real big idea you have and don’t tell me you are from a poor family because all the best businesses were started by people who had nothing from their families, and did not borrow money (you can borrow later, to expand the business)
Surround yourself with others who are knowledgeable, and you don’t have to like them or be drinking buddies with them (and I do hope you don’t drink. Drinking izimnyama is not a good idea..okay I am deviating from the point)
If among your friends you don’t have a lawyer, an accountant, an artist, a person who likes talking to people, a planner, a skeptic, a technowhiz, an engineer, a spanner-boy do or die fellow, and an economist, (all of these) then for sure you don’t have enough friends. This means you are not serious about making friends
If you never invite these friends for tea, or moraka, or a “gong” (I hope not) to chat about the future, then you are not a friendly man or woman – so you will not be able to “make things happen”
If you have never stopped someone you don’t know, or called or visited him/her to ask them what it takes to achieve the big ideas they have achieved, and be humiliated and embarrassed by it (because it is like that), then you are not serious about making things happen
If you have not spent more than two weeks per year “all-nighters” (this is excludes working on the ideas during normal hours) sketching your plans, and re-doing them, then you are falling far behind doing your part in this lifetime
If your friends don’t make fun of you for being a “strange fellow”, then you are not hard at work
If you have not been accused or blamed for something for which you are innocent, then you are not doing enough with your life
If you do not reach out the younger ones, and give them even what they don’t want at that time, and even breathe down their neck, then you are not doing enough
If there is no place for prayer, even if it is a minute per day, then mhgmm..
Always bring back change when you sent by bagolo, with a receipt from the shops
Do not ask for money, ever, unless you are asked if you are desperate, and even so, hesitate to ask
Always have a plan of what you would do with money, if you had any, if the money was P100 or P100 or P1 000 or P 10 000 or P100 000 or P1 000 000 or P10 00...0 000 or P100 000 000 or P1 000 000 000 so you don’t panick when a miracle comes your way, and the plans should be solid
You must always have a big idea, but don’t flaunt it, keep it in a safe-box in your heart, keep visiting it, water it, decorate rate, shape it, over the years
Do not try to archive your big idea over a few weeks, or months – if it is the real deal, it is worth a lifetime of work
Do not borrow money to start a business, if you can help it, start small, incrementally, with something else, which may not be the real big idea you have and don’t tell me you are from a poor family because all the best businesses were started by people who had nothing from their families, and did not borrow money (you can borrow later, to expand the business)
Surround yourself with others who are knowledgeable, and you don’t have to like them or be drinking buddies with them (and I do hope you don’t drink. Drinking izimnyama is not a good idea..okay I am deviating from the point)
If among your friends you don’t have a lawyer, an accountant, an artist, a person who likes talking to people, a planner, a skeptic, a technowhiz, an engineer, a spanner-boy do or die fellow, and an economist, (all of these) then for sure you don’t have enough friends. This means you are not serious about making friends
If you never invite these friends for tea, or moraka, or a “gong” (I hope not) to chat about the future, then you are not a friendly man or woman – so you will not be able to “make things happen”
If you have never stopped someone you don’t know, or called or visited him/her to ask them what it takes to achieve the big ideas they have achieved, and be humiliated and embarrassed by it (because it is like that), then you are not serious about making things happen
If you have not spent more than two weeks per year “all-nighters” (this is excludes working on the ideas during normal hours) sketching your plans, and re-doing them, then you are falling far behind doing your part in this lifetime
If your friends don’t make fun of you for being a “strange fellow”, then you are not hard at work
If you have not been accused or blamed for something for which you are innocent, then you are not doing enough with your life
If you do not reach out the younger ones, and give them even what they don’t want at that time, and even breathe down their neck, then you are not doing enough
If there is no place for prayer, even if it is a minute per day, then mhgmm..
